Ideas for National Treasure 3

I had a conversation with my friend, Todd, today about possible scenarios for National Treasure 3. I think it's about time that these details are worked out and maybe if the people of the internets start talking about it, then Hollywood will wise up and listen. Like the did with Snakes on a Plane (what an awesome movie. Thanks again, Mr. Jackson!) Here is the run down of our conversation. Feel free to add any comments that would help the storyline or characterization. It's been a while since I have seen both movies (I'm a little embarrassed to say that).

Robby: what's up
seen Indiana Jones yet

Todd: yeah It was like National treasure but with better set design and some old dude instead of Nic Cage

Robby: yeah
What were they thinking
should have got Nick Cage

Todd: and Called the movie National Treasure 3

Robby: hell yeah
that would have been better
there would have needed to be more stuff about American history in it though

Todd: Nic Cage is the National Treasure, not the artifacts. Where ever he goes, including space (I hope), America's National Treasure will be there

Robby: you should write that
that sounds awesome
National Treasure in Space

Todd: our forefathers built a missile
and sent George Washington's wooden teeth into space
but the teeth are actually a map

Robby: "we found out from this riddle written in invisible ink on Betsy Ross's original flag that the 2nd continental congress moved most of the free mason's treasure

Todd: yes yes

Robby: wow...see...your script is better

Todd: i like where this is going
Robby: George Washington's teeth
Brilliant
Todd: they're the map and the key
Robby: maybe they are kind of like a Rubik's cube
Todd: mos def
that's obvie
Robby: oh...sorry
I was just thinking they would also be a great key
good work
I just read the rest of that sentence

Todd: but teeth have roots and the word 'root' comes from a Native American word for "home", which is where Nic Cage wants to return once he saves the Solar System

Robby: what kind of antics can Riley get into
YES!
Todd: he has to build the space ship
huge montage
lasting 30 minutes
(it's a big ship)
set to "You're the Best"
around
Robby: home is where the heart is...so he has to find another clue inside some preserved heart
sounds good

Todd: but the heart of the solar system is the sun

Robby: DAMN!
so Nic Cage moves to the sun
?
Todd: and the sun worshipers built the missile that carry the teef

Robby: very nice

Todd: he has to intercept it before it burns up
cause the missile is slowly headed to the sun
Robby: wow...
Todd: as a warriors burial
Robby: what about
Harvey Keitel
what will he be doing

Todd: he could play the teef

Robby: just lurking to make sure free mason secrets are safe
Todd: National Treasure 3: The Search for Washington's Teef (in space)
Robby: maybe he could wear a bear suit
I like it
and of course Cage's parents have to be there along with Cage's wife

Todd: yeah, i told you, it's a big ship
sure
Robby: cool
Todd: well, they'd have to launch from the moon
so , Keitel will be on the moon to keep them from finding out that the moon landing was staged
the original landing
Robby: YES!
Todd: oh, and they should have a pet monkey
Robby: I like it
maybe it would be Riley's monkey
because he's no good with the ladies
Todd: and he'll call him Grease
Robby: have you already written this script
Todd: because Riley spends most of his scenes being a space ship mechanic
Robby: cause these gems are coming way to easy to you
Todd: and so he's a grease monkey too
Robby: I get it now
Todd: and he trains the monkey to be a mechanic too
to get into hard to reach spots
Robby: your logic often eludes me...and then I feel like a jerk that I didn't get it at first
who is the bad guy
and how does Benjamin Franklin Gates get involved
Todd: and eventually, at the end, when the ship is falling apart and they're about to burn up in the sun, the monkey will sacrifice it's life to repair the ship just in time to intercept Washington's coffin missle and get the hell out of there, and bring both National Treasures home
and everyone will love the monkey
Robby: wow...I'm really choked up
Todd: the final scene will be them hugging and pull back to reveal them at a statue in honor of the monkey
FADE TO BLACK
Robby: and the President giving a congressional medal of honor to Riley for the heroics of his pet monkey
maybe the movie should start with Keitel speaking to Gates in private
to tell him that treasure that he thought was the National treasure was only part of it
that he is coming to him with this new information because the remainder of the treasure is in grave danger and so are the free masons

Todd: Keitel really isn't trying to protect the masons
Knowledge of the masons help Gates
but Keitel is just an honest law-dawg
Robby: my bad
I thought he was always really sentimental when talking about the free masons
I mean he is one
but, I guess he also just wants to protect the country's secrets
Todd: obviously we will need screenings of both movies
to make sure we keep consistent
Robby: yes...to really nail down the characterization
I guess sometime near the montage Riley should complain about he isn't appreciated enough
Todd: of course
maybe we can allude to the fact that the monkey is a girl
and he can get busted in awkward flirting situations
Robby: good idea
what is something that you are never supposed to do in the U.S.
?
in both movies Nic Cage does such things
Todd: well, he's the National Treasure
Robby: maybe he has to betray the country
to save it
Todd: of course
that's why they have to launch from the moon
and Kaitel has to escort them
which will be breaking the rules
but he knows the end result will be for the better good of Merica
Robby: or murder the president because it's not really the president...and restore the true president to power
Todd: ok Robby
I have to leave for work
Robby: okay
Todd: I'll be back on in an hour
Robby: nice
Todd: just reread what we have
and see if it sparks anything else
Robby: okay
Todd: this is a movie for the people
Robby: very true
Todd: the American people
Robby: Nic would want it that way

What I'd like to think the west was like

Great song. Probably my new favorite. I love the contrast between the rugged looks and the angelic voices. Check this out! I found this on archive.org. I can't remember what I was looking for.

Jesus (Action Hero?)

Like I said before, I really love it when people take historical figures and reinterpret their lives...adding in some creative license. I think choosing Jesus as the recipient of this type of face lift can be a little risky (some people do like to push the envelope, stir the pot, be controversial) . You know who I'm talking about...Eminem, Madonna, Dakota Fanning, and John Madden. I personally would like to see some liberties taken with Mark Twain (what a character).

Also if you like Jesus fiction you should should check out this song by The Roches.

The Best Version of Spiderman yet!

I really think that spiderman should not have any spider-like attributes. I like that he's kind of a dirty, mustachioed, out-of-shape, James Bond. Nice costuming too. Check out the spiderman logo. I think taht the best part is that they took a familiar name and went crazy. Kind of like the original Casino Royal. I hope there will be more episodes.

Cuddly Robots for Kids

MattKirkland.com has a cool post that displays the robots inside of singing and dancing stuffed animals. The juxtapositions are fascinating. My favorite is the one pictured above.

EDIT: For whatever reason the post will not hyperlink so I will just add some of the best photo's to our blog.

Craigslist

"Listen If U Really Wanna Get 2 Know Me Just Send Me A Note Thanks I Hope I Hear From Ya Ladyz Soon Tke Care Bye." -craigslist posting

The craigslist personals are usually my most favorite stop on the intrawebs. Especially when you find this guy. I really enjoy the Missed Connections section. That's the last stop on the creepy express before stalker-ville.

I like one's like this too, where people show off their good side in a photo.

And then there is this.

It can even serve as an advertisement for World of Warcraft prostitutes.

The Techno Viking

This guy is like a monk for techno. He has devoted himself to two things, looking hard and dancing.

Oh, That Mayor of Ours!

I stole this picture from the Birmingham Weekly, it's just so excellent, it was worth stealing. I hope they don't mind.


Larry Langford is at it again. He's actually always at it. I don't know exactly how to put IT into words, but he does a pretty good job in the video below. He's just learned of the Security and Exchange Commission filing a civil lawsuit in federal court against Bill Blount, Al Lapierre, and himself. The Justice Department is working on another case that would land them some jail time. The suit intends to have the men repay money they made off the brilliant bond swaps that has Jefferson County in borderline bankruptcy. This is a pretty serious filing and this is what Langford thinks of it:

This video was also posted by the Birmingham Weekly. I'm not sure who shoots their videos, but my guess is Kyle Whitmire. I really enjoy his work.

Larry Langford is a real gem. To learn more about how absolutely blatantly corrupt he is, look here. I don't want to go into the whole backstory, Kyle Whitmire does an excellent job of it already. But in order for anyone who has not been blessed with knowledge of Larry to be able to grasp the irony here, then let me say that it stems from his outrageous spending and personal debt, much of which is part of the SEC inquiry and lawsuit. Let's just say that those beautiful teeth of his cost somewhere in the realm of $75,000, or at least he told the SEC he borrowed that money for dental reasons because, "I broke some stuff in my face." He racked up $70,000 worth of credit card debt and had maxed out all his cards during the same time that he claimed he had the dental difficulties. That all out on the table - the video below is a joint effort by Larry Langford and Wachovia to teach kids about saving money by giving away free money in money machines. Who better to teach anyone about saving money than Larry P. Langford? My coworker Matt went with a camera and made an excellent video portraying the event.



Now, if that wasn't enough, he used city funds ( he claims it was from his own pocket, but i'm calling b.s.) to hold a prayer rally to pray for our poor city. Our county is close to bankruptcy, our violent crime rate is staggering, and the city is dying inside - so what does the mayor do? He decides the best form of action is prayer. He hires christian speakers to travel to Birmingham and scream at us about how our city is burning in hell( all of which, I'm sure he paid to speak). He annointed the citizens who participate with ash and draped a sakcloth over them while they stood under pictures of the city skyline reading "A City Not Foresaken." The woman who gave me my sakcloth was speaking in tongues during a city sanctioned event. Take a look:


The power of prayer will trump all, especially when it's coming from such a good man.

Holy Crap!!! This is Kind of Cool...I think

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

These guys have a bunch of different ways of putting their pants on. The last ones are the best. I wonder if they had to wear special underwear for this? Seems like that could really mess up the waterworks. Check it out...Or not...It's really up to you. I'm not trying to control your life! ...Well...not anymore.

Wow! Very Sunny PSA!!!

Why look so glum, chap? VD, is for everyone. That's right come and join us tonight at the VD square dance where bob for VD apples and drink VD punch. It's a lifestyle with a secret handshake. I actually don't know what just happened...sorry about that friends. link

Amazing Video!!!Almost Perfect!!!

This is such a ridiculous video. It could only be better if: the condoms were old people, politicians (especially ex-presidents--That means you Mr. Clinton), or forgotten celebrities( anyone appearing on a vh-1 reality show, but the more famous the better), of course if Nick Cage was in it, or if it would have been directed by Michael Bay or Peter Jackson ( would have been an hour longer if Peter Jackson made it). This is not safe for work. I think the French tickler is the best singer. There are plenty of insane visuals in this.

Portal Stein

Check out the description here. I would try to talk about it more, but this guy does a pretty good job.

My Kind of Politics!

This video has made me re-think the way I think about politics...I guess it really has just made me want politicians to do ridiculous things to get my vote. Plus, I like it when old people rap and do the soldier boy. However, I hate it when the drive slow!!!! Get off the road old people! Seriously! Stick to the things you are good at...making me deserts and making me laugh!

World's Tallest Lego Tower!

To celebrate Lego's 50th Anniversary 500,000 lego bricks were assembled to construct the largest lego tower in the world at the Legoland Windsor Theme park. This tower stands nearly 100 feet tall. I for one cannot wait until I can by this kit at my local toy store. This would have been the sure fire means of attracting women that I searched for in high school. Too little too late as usual, Lego. Thanks for ruining my life! Link

More GI Joe Photography

As most of you know...I am a huge fan of GI Joe Photography. Here are some more photos that I came across on flickr.com. I really enjoy it when these people get creative with their Joes and add human qualities to these figures. The ones that really blow me away really manipulate scale and framing so that GI Joe doesn't feel like an action figure.




link

YES!!!! If Only Nick Cage was There!

This is the kind of stuff that this blog is all about. This video would be even more awesome if it featured Nick Cage...and if there were explosions and a high speed chase featuring a motorcycle and a horse. You can determine yourself if the horse is used for transportation or if it is merely riding one of the motorcycles involved in the chase. Hell, no one said that this story doesn't take place in the future...or the past. Wow! You guys just gave me a great idea! Back to the Future 4-Doc Brown is played by a Tennessee Walking Horse. Of course Marty McFly would be play by Shia LaBeouf...he's so hot right now.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Fun with Photography!

Here is an interesting idea. This person takes souvenirs that they have bought and try to blend them into the scenery. This is kind of like the record cover photos. Of course some of these are better than others, but still cool enough to check out. Here are a few of my favorites.

Tetris Song

Check out this people playing the tetris song via bottles. What a great way to spend rainy afternoons. I thought I was the only one who thought that for some many years. Of course I didn't have the luxury of playing with two other people...so as you can imagine it didn't sound quite right. I also think my playing led my brother to believe that our house was haunted...this is probably related to the fact that I would play this song in a dark cellar from underneath a blanket and I would rattle chains to add percussion ...spice it up.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Star Wars PSA

Check out this anti-smoking Star Wars PSA. Great stuff. Who knew R2D2 had a nicotine addiction? Very informative and probably took a lot of courage for C3PO to make such a statement back in the seventies.
link

A Fun Waste of Time on the Intrawebs

I found this site, which allows you to type in a 24 character phrase and then displays the phrase on an LED marque in Bristol, UK. I had nothing to do with the above text, but it is wild that I happened to see that on the site, since the other half of this blog is robby. But I had nothing to do with it, below are my contributions.





For those of you who are uneducated, the term "gooner" is the scientific word for dog's vagina, and "we was fishin buddies" is how delmar explains his relationship with jack to his wife in Brokeback Mountain - my favorite love story.

Awesome Slow Motion

Here is a pretty cool video I saw at The Inspiration Room. This video contains footage recorded with high frame rates per second. This stuff is really cool. Especially the stuff involving guns, and the stuff demonstrating the relationship between guns and fruit(guns hate fruit).